...so...a little random, but does anyone else find this boilerplate Parker narrative from the Guitar Center website as "early 2000s charming" as I do?
GuitarCenter.com wrote:
Every guitarist's style is unique - so shouldn't your instrument be unique, too? Parker Guitars certainly thinks so. One look at any of these American-built axes is enough to raise eyebrows, and the second look (there's always a second look with a Parker) is even better. Better yet, it doesn't stop at the visuals: these guitars are as much a treat to the ears as they are to the eyes. If you've been wondering where to find the perfect combination of stunning stage presence and bold tone: you're there. But let's go back to the part about every guitarist's style being unique. That's important, and it's going to be the biggest deciding factor in choosing which Parker guitar is right for you.
For instance, if you're a beginner, you're probably still developing your style and technique. In that case, you'll need a guitar that's versatile and accessible so you can experiment to your heart's content. Check out the PDF30 Dual Humbucker Electric Guitar for starters: this axe delivers big tone even if your budget is tight. Are you interested in trying out the guitar that made Parker famous in the first place? That would be the Fly series, and you have plenty to choose from with options like the Fly Mojo, Fly Artist and Fly Mojo MIDI. Yes, you read that right: MIDI. The digital pickup makes that Fly more than just a guitar - it's a controller and a synth in a pinch, too. No matter which of the guitars in the Fly line appeals to you, there are a few great qualities that they all share: light weight, custom pickups, distinctive body shapes and a tone that'll make your bandmates jealous.
There's no such thing as a low-end Parker guitar, but that doesn't mean you can't step up from high-end to ultra-high-end. If that's your goal, there are a few instruments here that will definitely appeal to you, like the Dragon Fly Vernon Reid Signature Electric Guitar. Parker really pulled out all the stops for this signature model, using a poplar body, ebony fretboard, Grover tuners, Floyd Rose bridge and EMG pickups to create one heck of a dream guitar. Chances are high that if you're here browsing through Parker guitars, there's a good reason for it. Maybe a friend told you about them or you read an article... it doesn't matter. The important message to take from it is that these guitars are everything they're praised to be and more. Parker guitars have taken the stage with artists like Latin Grammy winner Anand Bhatt and Zappa & Bowie alumnus Adian Belew; will you be the next name on that list?
In particular, the line "
Yes, you read that right: MIDI" always makes me smile with nostalgia for a time when using a "digital pickup" (it's not actually digital) seemed like science fiction
*** Also, no judgement, but they spelled Adrian wrong. 
It strikes me as charming now—somewhere I have an old Fender ad that proudly boasted how, with this new amplifier, all the kids would be “out on the dance floor”! 